BED MAGIK
i do not know what to say so i don’t
i do not know what to say so i wait
i don’t know what to do so i dance
i make up magic
when the spines arrive i beg them to stab me once and again and forever hold them close to me
for i have been clueless in the eternal scream and can only picture bleeding against the crackling screen
i crack too as i watch the endless loop of a glitching gif
i enjoy that it has no beginning or end
that way i can pretend i forget
about time
about myself
and pretend my body is a lump i cannot contend with i can just contain and restrain
all the bleeding
like an endless glitching gif
this is my new virtual paradise
a dysmorphic reality
not virtual not
just in bed really
notes for BED MAGIK
bed magik is a bitter ode to my bed
how i occupy the space in between my bed and the screen
I become my bed and my phone becomes me so my phone and my bed sandwich me into a symbiotic blob
a conflicted appreciation but also resentment for my needs and granting myself them
(yes, granting because if feels like allowing yourself to, even though that guilt or permission factor should not exist)
my need to rest
my need to be
bed becomes space of rest dream play and survival
bed becomes space to do magic